Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What pleasure do guys get by sucking female breasts?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why did Cartman love Heidi purely with heart, her being the first one he ever did, but then one day Butters tells him that all women are manipulative and then he began to believe that she was a bad person and pretended to be a victim?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why do people think Mirko is boring in My Hero Academia?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

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I can read

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What's the most sordid activity you've ever seen or heard about at a bachelorette party?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I see through liars

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy bullshit

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter